I’ve spent years diving deep into the inner workings of people. The more I learn, the more I have to learn.  Human Design seems sophisticated, and complicated even.  But it doesn’t have to be.  This knowledge, for me, is an awareness tool.  In case you haven’t noticed, we are living in a time of transition, reorganization and change.  Much like a mother in labor, being self-aware, and detached from the outcome, (and some intentional breathwork) is the key to the transition stage of change.  As any parent knows, being aware of our own inner life profoundly changes how you raise a child. It liberates both us, the parent, and the child in profound ways.

Having raised one child myself, and still raising three more, I can see the difference awareness makes. The issues faced by young people today often stem from a lack of understanding and ignorance.  But Human Design charts, reports, and readings can change that!  We don’t have to surrender to a life full of anxiety and depression over things we cannot control.  We can focus on the things we CAN control, and that can make the difference.

And one of the things we can control is our reaction to what is happening in our lives.

The Pandemic was one of these times for me.  It was a two-year period of hardship that many endured, some imploded, but my family thrived.  Why?  We were all experiencing the same trial…we were all on the same proverbial ocean, albeit in different boats.  It was a two year period during which my mother was also diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and died.

I went into the pandemic as a yelling mom, and came out with such a profound shift that my friends still watch me react to my children under trying circumstances and say, “Wow!  You really HAVE become a ‘not yelling’ mom.”  (Thank you, God and Human Design!)  Human Design Parenting isn’t easy, but it is doable.  And WORTH IT.

Understanding the Human Design Family Penta, today’s blog theme, is a crucial piece of understanding how to use the Human Design Chart as an awareness tool in your parenting.  Many families use blame when they struggle.  I think many assume that getting to the “bottom of it,” will help prevent it from occurring again.  But, like the pandemic taught me, it doesn’t matter HOW we got here, or WHO let this happen.  

What matters is: which reaction is in the best interest of my children.

We decided at the beginning of the pandemic, and at the beginning of my mom’s diagnosis, that we would try to maintain the stability and consistency that our children rely on, to minimize the trauma to their young budding psyche.  

News Flash:  Life is traumatic enough at times, I don’t need to add to the trauma by losing it, right?  I have tools in my hands, spiritual tools, therapy, support, coping strategies.  I get to choose to add to the suffering of my family or not.

Disclaimer:  If you had a rough time during the pandemic, this blog is NOT intended to shame you or blame you.  We all did the best we could at the time.  This blog is just meant to inspire.  I happened to do a lot of personal growth (and loss) during that season, but other parents may have made other choices.  It is not for me to judge.  I am just sharing what I learned from a season I know we can all relate to.

Ok, so back to the point:  Blame doesn’t solve the problem in front of us.  It just makes us stuck.  It is like two people sitting in a canoe arguing over who is to blame for losing the oars in the rapids while they are getting swept away by the current.  Truth is, their energy would be better spent getting creative about how to save themselves before they reach the waterfall downstream.  Nonetheless, it’s a common human coping strategy to blame parents, siblings, or others for our predicaments.  All blame really accomplishes is it totally absolves us from taking personal responsibility for our contribution to our circumstances and prevents any growth that could have been possible.

It is important to understand our own Human Design Chart, and what energy we bring to our relationships.  We can’t control some of this.  But we can make better choices when we are aware of this energy that we cannot account for when we are blind to it.  Furthermore, in a Human Design Family Penta, we become completely different people.